The Heart Attempts To Clear Its Name

by pronounced "ahhh" like a sigh

This is a poem that I started a few months back. Someone’s status on Twitter (don’t want to put them on blast) reminded me of it. I needed to read it again and remind myself of it. I hope it helps.

B.

let me remind you why i was placed here
not to ache or welcome hurt and break
you have accepted this too easily

clear my name

i’m here to move blood
to pump and pulse and remind you living
you are living

i’m doing my job

despite the thing that curdles
there is still oxygen available
i will not own this

will not let you

say it hurts
there is no shame in this
say you wish to curl into yourself

claim the aching disappointment

but blame the spleen
your useless gall bladder
when was the last time your appendix owned anything?

i can not own this

i have kept you moving
despite the ache
the tragic need to lie down and force paralysis

who kept pace

I did.
and pulse.
it was me.

I allowed you movement
when you were ready
when the time to mourn has lifted

you will forget me again

but where was your gorgeous brain, while I toiled?
it was thinking the unimaginable;
fooling you into believing that this could kill you.

i kept pumping

showing you that i would never fail you
sending you a praise song through your veins
i love you most of all

you think i’d break for another

think i would ache for anyone
other than you
clear my name

write of how i’ve saved you
how we walked through this life
the days i was the only one listening

where is my poem

i’m tired of the blame
the heart aches
the heart breaks
the heart fails

the heart tries
the heart lives
the heart pumps
and pulsates
and carries

i make sure you don’t remain tethered
when this clears
when the eyes you never consider enemy
show you the truth

perhaps you will thank me

until then, i will continue to move this blood
to provide this body oxygen
you continue to mourn

i will be here when you wake

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