Archive- Requiem: Dear You

by pronounced "ahhh" like a sigh

I posted a quote from this poem on twitter earlier. Someone asked for the entire thing. I hesitate to post it because this poem is 13 years old and is in severe need of editing. I might one day but right now it was written during my first big heartbreak. We ended up back together twice before the end. I actually had to google to find it and I found it on some random blog. Which… huh? But also, Thanks!Even though you changed the ending and still gave me credit. Weird.

I’ve been busy and distracted and unfocused so the writing has been slow. Rather, the blogging has been slow. I’ve been writing things for projects but not to post. You care about every single thing I just told you.

lates,

B.

PS. Now that I look through it, mad things were changed. Why would you cut and paste my poem, give me credit and then edit it to fit your beliefs. Who are you? Please don’t post this because there might have been some edits I didn’t catch. Fuck it. I’m going to have to sit here and edit this poem. I swear… people.
PPS. During editing, I realize how much this poorly written, poorly formatted, crazy line breaks poem fits a situation I was just in. Metaphors are fun.

Dear You,
The universe has finally granted your wish
You are free and no longer encumbered by the weight of my love
I was waiting for the last ray of sunshine to hit the earth’s surface before I buried our union
and somewhere it is midnight
and somewhere it is winter
and somewhere my memories are fading
So this a requiem for that dead part of your soul
And this is a eulogy for that part of me that housed our affection (ashe)

Forgive if I continue to echo the rhythm of your heartbeat for it is only temporary
I will wrap myself in silence once the moon dust settles
And I will no longer attach myself to the hollow your soul attempts to disguise as righteousness
And I will no longer kill myself in order to protect your inconsistencies

You are not worth the price of my life
And you cannot afford the toll of my soul
and somewhere it is midnight
and somewhere it is winter
and somewhere my memories are fading

Now how many times must the sun set before  I accept that the day is over?
I could dream of making love to rainbows while collecting raindrops in my navel
Hoping to one day give birth to sunshine
Or I could spend 5 lifetimes alone and running through sandy beaches in search of my solitude
But I will no longer tell you that I love you 5000 times in 5000 seconds
I have no room for that emptiness and I refuse to insult your dishonesty by reflecting truth
For you are not worth the price of my life and you cannot afford the toll of my soul
and somewhere it is midnight
and somewhere it is winter
and somewhere my memories are fading

Will I continue to ignore The Creator’s whisper as She tells me to run and save myself?

Even if my arrogance speaks loudly of saving you, I know that my tears will do little to quench your desires
So I will walk away and not look back
As Sodom and Gomorrah borrow fire from hell to baptize your existence
And I will reject the appeal of martyrdom that attracts a moth to a flame
And I will sing loudly that final song after the death of silence
And I will refuse to come to you in the form of a memory just to be welcomed into your future
For you are not worth the price of my life
And you cannot afford the toll of my soul
So this is a requiem for my belief in you
And this is the eulogy for that part of me that watched over you protectively for centuries

I am much too tired
And you have made me much too cold
and somewhere it is midnight
and somewhere it is winter
and somewhere my memories are fading

My love for you is dying
I have said goodbye to yesterday
And I will never ever welcome tomorrow
The Universe has finally granted your wish-
Ashe

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