Brandy & Ray J: A Family Nonsense

by pronounced "ahhh" like a sigh

Brandy & Ray J: A Family Nonsense

1. Seriously, this is the worst theme song in the world. It’s either the fact that Ray J is singing or… yeah, it’s Ray J singing.

2. If it’s so exclusive, Ray J, how come cameras are allowed?

3. How is it possible that I hate Ray J more than I hate his friends?
4. Is it Jason’s now? What happened to Jacob’s? Is that his name? I forget. Kanye hasn’t put out a song in awhile.
5. I don’t want to live in a world where Ray J can afford to buy a tin of Altoids let alone millions of dollars worth of jewelry.
6. Crap! I forgot I was even watching this. Did Shorty Mack do something? Ray J wasn’t a douche? I serioiusly blacked out for about 5 minutes.
7. Did Brandy just say, “Look who is it?” She school stayed should have.
8. Just the commercials for this Daddy DayCare show piss me off. I’m not going to watch it… more than once.
9. This car accident stuff is not hilarious. Where’s Ray J to do something stupid.
10. I feel sorry for Brandy and this car accident. She seems so sweet. Awww… woo woo woo.
11. Ugh. Ray J and his crew, Mickey Mouse and Fatty Slack or…. whatever their names are.
12. If Ray J is your mentor, I need you to rethink  your whole life starting from birth. Like question your onesie and your pacifier. Just start questioning every decision…
13. When he said, “I had to go out and do what I had to do” he means Kim Kardashian. Say what you mean, Ray J.
14. I don’t think I ever want to hear the name “Shorty Mack” every again in my life. And is it Shorty Mac or Shawty Mack or Souljah Boy? Do I care?
15. Shorty Mack is the Ray J of Knock Out Entertainment….
16. Why is Ray J trying to sound like he’s creating the MoTown sound. He’s creating the NoTown sound. (See what I did there?)
17. Where exactly do they plan on playing this song? Don’t we already have a Hip Hop Hooray? Didn’t we like it? Wasn’t it better without Ray J and Shorty Mack? Heeeey hooooo?
18. I feel bad recapping the parts talking about the fatal accident. It’s not funny to me.
19. Awwww…. I have a soft spot for Brandy. She seems like such a nice girl. I’d go to karaoke with her. I’d kick her ass in karaoke.
20. Oh Lord… here he come. Can’t Ray J go off somewhere and service some hos. Why is he always on my TV talking and .. doing things. Quit it!
21. Dear Ray J, Usher already has a song called Bad Girl. It’s better than yours. Quit it.
22. Also, stop saying “sexy ladies”. It’s annoying. Quit it.
23. STOP SAYING “THE HOMIES!!!” It sounds stupid! Say “your boys” or “your guys” or “those people I pay to hang out with me.” anything but “the homies”.
24. Please stop saying “Shorty Mack” please. I will never mention Kim Kardashian again if you just stop saying “Shorty Mack”. Let’s try “he” and “him” or even “it”.
25. Getting advice from Ray J is like asking a magic 8-ball. A dry magic 8-ball with a penny in it instead of… well, whatever is currently in a magic 8-ball. Um… Magic balls?
26. Why the fuck is he talking about Todd Bridges? Ray J is weird.
28. Why should Shorty Mack get put on just because he’s loyal? You know what else is loyal? Herpes. Wait… what?
29. I seriously do not care about this episode. I don’t care about Ray J or Shorty Mack. I care about Brandy but she’s Debbie Downer with this whole thing. I feel like an ass even considering snark.
30. Am I the only one who feels like Ray J isn’t speaking English when he talks. He uses all  kinds of words that have me going, “What’s that now? Who shot who in the what now?”
31. I bet you music is ready to give up with Ray J messing with it so much.
32. Cute hat, Brandy. Looking like one of Fat Albert’s gang.
33. This was a boring episode. I really hate this show.
See you next week!