Poem: the sun hides behind clouds and memory

by pronounced "ahhh" like a sigh

today

morning came without promises
speckled with disappointment

and you do not know how this feels

you and i were like words that never
fit.

we are still like this

in memory there are
sighs in my hair. we wear
grass stains. and regrets. easy.
remember

you called me beautiful. waited

patiently until i believed you. i never
did. is that why you left?

your lips tasted like
promises never kept. you

always kissed me
like you were searching
for someone. i whispered
apologies on your tongue

sorry that i

was never her. wish

now i would have asked
who is she? did she love you
like this?

i will soon forget
it is the memory that hides
mornings

today

i nearly missed the sun.
wrapped too heavy in blanket
and sleep. restless,

my dreams did not come

easy.

and you do not know how
this feels.

your life moves in
consistent circles. mine
in jagged, broken lines

can not trace the day
i began missing myself. but i
know that i lost you. on a wednesday
without wind. or words.

wanted to scream that you couldn’t
leave me without explanation. my silence
still haunts me on nights the loneliness

enters my throat/ lodged there like the
words i meant to take back.

when did we become too old for
this?

i have fallen into your forgotten

but i still follow god
when you speak.
remember truth etched in your palms. smooth.
like skin against cheek. beautiful
like you eyes closed. breathing

i know you.
know that you
were never perfect.

some days your eyes
could cut glass. me.
i bled too slowly to convince
you to stay. some days
i offer your memory

to strangers. only those
with smiles like yours
accept. i

stare at mouths
until they turn from me.
like you.

but you do not know how this
feels.

you exist like echo. hollow
and inconsistent. your voice
like mermaid hum/ siren song/
buried treasure/
shipwreck.
i can only
imagine what else the ocean

holds/ besides my breath

i’m drowning in this memory
of nothing.

today

i am crushed beneath the weight
of blanket and sadness. today  i
almost missed the sun. but
you can never know
how that feels.
-bassey.

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