(Archive)When Purple Becomes Black: A Blues

by pronounced "ahhh" like a sigh

it will always be

this brisk and sobering
anticipation of leaving
that will break me

not the threat of women
who wish to carve
their names into your throat

not this life the instability
that builds
and destroys
then lifts and decimates
with the precision of hurricanes

or cupid

no, my beautiful  boy
it will be the constant and consistent

this dizzying collection
of going and gone soon

these 2 AM sojourns into the night
beltway of mourning and tears
the dreaming that reminds me
that just an hour ago
there was a heavy and pressing against my back

thick bundles of you
packaged and loved against
this scarred and broken

this scared and broken

right now these minutes are
pointed distractions
i refuse to own

i wish to lay rooted in this
soil deep and holding
finding a new day waiting
and grounded

not this weightlessness
this expansion of pillow and soft
your chest is the worst comforter
all hard muscled and quivering
but it’s the only rest
this heart knows these days

i am displaced brooklyn girl
know sleep
in shattered corners and jagged edges

finding comfort only
when fingers find perfect match
when hands cup newly widened hips
and hold

my mouth seeks yours in the dark
clay and mud understanding
the light of slumber
delicate and balanced against
the worry that suspends me
fitful and awake

this side of morning
i miss the smell of you
underneath me

i inhale your peace
wear it around my neck
you  polished wood of a man

burgundy and brass breathed lover
in sleep your mouth
breaks promises you forgot to make

haunt me nightmare thick

place this magic of you
beneath my tongue
this broken and heart
this stay or go

this reminder that tomorrow’s
is testimony and song to
your smile

the thing that splits this body open
like sky spilling golden morning

remind me that tomorrow’s
is testimony and song to this thing
your mouth, gentle lover,

burgundy and brass breathed beauty
promise me a tomorrow
a nonthreatening morning

whole sections of you
and i
without this constant
and consistent leaving

i miss the smell of you