Poem: Note To Self

by pronounced "ahhh" like a sigh

There are no victims here
Only the remnants of a heart that
Opens and closes with persistence
Butterfly wings

steel trap

Survived ten pound tumors
Hospital beds
Psych ward
cheating
leaving
Knives to back
Front
Side
palms
The kind of sadness that would
Crumble stone into tears
Birthed bravery and life despite
Doctors and doubt

Baby girl,
A broken heart will not kill you

If you can still twist your hips
Into a candy ribbon of dance
You were never broken

Only rearranging your spirit
To make way for this new reality
Meditate yourself into a new way of
Breathing

If you can still laugh from a belly
Ripped apart and stitched together
Held by memory and faith
If you smiled at your reflection today
admired the perfect round and curve
Of bottom lip
Felt the brown and wet of eyes locked
Into a past you can not change
Weigh this against the bitter heart
The woman who laughs at his jokes
But doubts his embrace

A broken heart will not kill you

Mama, you will always be whispered about
Someone somewhere will try to pin the title
Fool on your lapel

Twist your mouth into the widest smile
Bless them with your amazing
Remember that your ability to love
Even the idiots who attempt to draw blood
Is only a reminder of their weaknesses
Enjoy how much they hate you
Love them until they choke on it

You are coated in glitter and firestone
No amount of revisionist history
Can change that
So let him believe himself immune to you
Sit back and laugh at the way the touch
Has turned him delusional with your
Jujugoddesssexmagic

see if he can really forget
your mouth
the space of wet and divine between your hips

No child, there were no victims here
his victory is empty
Her championship hollow
These attempts to break and dispose
Futile

they got to come harder than that
It will take more than just
The  dusty kisses of a brief love affair
To destroy the god in you

Wear it around your heart
like talisman
Like truth
Like the promise of better days wrapped
In a package that can handle your amazing

Fuck all the hyperbole
The lackluster simile
Know this
Own it
A broken heart will not kill you

Rest your understanding on that

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