When You’re Missing Someone’s Soul

by pronounced "ahhh" like a sigh

Resist the urge to call. again. Your phone, quiet as a misunderstanding must be placed 2 rooms away. Turn the ringer down. Not off. Just down. Tell yourself it is because you wish for a sleep filled night. Something without dreams spilling into the morning. Ignore the fact that every 2AM and 3AM and 315 and 325 and 337, your ear is turned to the door. Your stomach a mess of jumps and starts. You get up to check, see if maybe the phone has trembled a bit; maybe just a message that reads “I miss you.” You send a quick plea or a casual prayer towards the only God you allow. Realize that she is probably still a sleep. The phone is two rooms away, balanced on its side; turned away from the door. When you get like this, you start to believe in superstitions. Maybe create a few of your own. Hold your breath before you look. The sharp intake of disappointment is not painful. Don’t let your brain trick you into thinking it is. But something must have punctured. You swear you can hear him leaking. Find a towel to remove the melted bits of yourself from the floor. Resist the urge to call. again.